I was planing to go to the gym today. Bring you to your day care and go straight away to my balance class. The gym schedule is tight, only mornings and evenings, always struggling to get there on time. Just before we left, I had to change you. We were out of the door and so I hesitated a little, but no… I couldn’t leave you in your poo for another 15 minutes.
“Me” time schedule was getting tighter and tighter and as we reached your daycare and you just wouldn’t let go of my leg and so I stayed to read a book for you realising that this was the last chance I had to make it to the gym.
You cried as I left anyway, I felt frustrated dragging my gym bag all the way, rushing and getting up earlier so I can do it all… plus, you still cried as I left and the sound of your cry followed me together with with this massive shadow of hopelessness.
I had a choice: to carry on with this feeling or leave it along the way and so I sat down on the bench, breathed in and out, noticed this beautiful morning around me. Fuck it. I wrapped my head in a hoody and headed home, exercising my muscles with my gym bag. When entering the house, I had small talk with my neighbour which told me about new flexible private yoga classes just around the corner. Thanks for making me late, Hailey, That’s exactly what I needed…